Wt 122
Fm 27.4
F. 22.6
H. 56.5
B. 6.2
BMI 21.5
Not so bad for 2 days of a cleanse to lose 3lbs.
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Monday, August 22, 2011
125 fat ass
Ok so I went off track big time and I am suffering the consequences.
Wt 125
Fm 29.3
F 23.5
H 55.8
B 6.2
Bmi 22.1
That is aweful, I was such a pig. First I used the excuse that I was on vacation, then my birthday, and now for the past 3 days I was binge eating. Awesome.
But that means I am now on a fruit and veggies cleanse. As of monday at midnight for atleast 3 days. X is going to start on tuesday and if he does 3 days I will be doing 4 since I started early. Only trouble is I am not in the mood for some of the fruit I like so it might suck a bit. But for work I have 3 bananas and a huge container of carrots an I did still have an apple in the fridge. I ont know if I will eat the apple but we will see.
So after work today I will do a quick visit with my family and then stop at the store to pick up some more produce. Two ays of asking x what he wants at the store an he still hasn't made a list so I will either pick some stuff out for him or wait until he wants to go to the store with me.
I also have to return some books and maybe pick up a new one to read. What a fun day.
Wt 125
Fm 29.3
F 23.5
H 55.8
B 6.2
Bmi 22.1
That is aweful, I was such a pig. First I used the excuse that I was on vacation, then my birthday, and now for the past 3 days I was binge eating. Awesome.
But that means I am now on a fruit and veggies cleanse. As of monday at midnight for atleast 3 days. X is going to start on tuesday and if he does 3 days I will be doing 4 since I started early. Only trouble is I am not in the mood for some of the fruit I like so it might suck a bit. But for work I have 3 bananas and a huge container of carrots an I did still have an apple in the fridge. I ont know if I will eat the apple but we will see.
So after work today I will do a quick visit with my family and then stop at the store to pick up some more produce. Two ays of asking x what he wants at the store an he still hasn't made a list so I will either pick some stuff out for him or wait until he wants to go to the store with me.
I also have to return some books and maybe pick up a new one to read. What a fun day.
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
fast
Well I decided that I needed to do a fruit veg and nut fast again like I did last year. I started it after I gained about 3lbs of water wt and freaked a bit. I haven't told x that I am doing it. He hasn't been doing too great. We had to put one of our dogs to sleep and it really effected him. On the other hand I had been preparing for it and I feel guilty for being a bit relieved. That dog was a source of a lot of stress and worry and in a horrible way life is a little easier. I love that dog and making that choice to put him to sleep was awful and I cried and felt so horrible for choicing death for him over all his medical problems but I had prepared myself. X and I has come to the desision that if he got that sick again we would do it. I wish he would have stayed healthy but he was not really living.
Anyway...
The first day of the cleanse went great until x wanted to go out to eat. I picked the place and was able to follow my set plan until he kept wanting me to try a bite of this and a bite of that. All of it was good I just didn't want it them. But I did. The second day was super easy and today is day three. I don't know how long I will keep on it but I wanted atleast three days.
Anyway...
The first day of the cleanse went great until x wanted to go out to eat. I picked the place and was able to follow my set plan until he kept wanting me to try a bite of this and a bite of that. All of it was good I just didn't want it them. But I did. The second day was super easy and today is day three. I don't know how long I will keep on it but I wanted atleast three days.
Friday, July 1, 2011
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Monday, June 27, 2011
my future
So my husband wanted to know why I am not sure now is a good time to have children and I finally told him the truth. I said to him do you remember what happened in March? He did not and didn't want to explain further. If I had continued I would have had to explain that about every three or four months THAT happens. Or that every so often he blacks out and loses a few hours of a day. How can we bring children into this situation?
So now he is upset with me. To be honest I am upset with him, why do I have to be the "rational" one all the time. Thinking about what a situation would really be like, not how we hope it would be. Sure there is a chance that some how we would still be able to pay all of our bills and buy a small house, have a baby or two and have me work while he raised the kids. Is that realistic at all? NO! Why can't he see the truth? I will be over worked while pregnant, freaking out about bills and gaining wt. I would be leaving him with an infant while I have to go back to work missing all the firsts of the childs life. What happens if he blacks out? He isn't even taking care of what we have now, the house is a mess, he doesn't cook meals even weekly anymore, and I help with the animals as much as I can. I also work 6 days a week now for the money.
But today is a new day, he is still asleep and I plan to have feed, medicated and cleaned up after the animals before he wakes up. Hopefully we can hace a nice day together before I have to go to sleep for work. I hope so.
So now he is upset with me. To be honest I am upset with him, why do I have to be the "rational" one all the time. Thinking about what a situation would really be like, not how we hope it would be. Sure there is a chance that some how we would still be able to pay all of our bills and buy a small house, have a baby or two and have me work while he raised the kids. Is that realistic at all? NO! Why can't he see the truth? I will be over worked while pregnant, freaking out about bills and gaining wt. I would be leaving him with an infant while I have to go back to work missing all the firsts of the childs life. What happens if he blacks out? He isn't even taking care of what we have now, the house is a mess, he doesn't cook meals even weekly anymore, and I help with the animals as much as I can. I also work 6 days a week now for the money.
But today is a new day, he is still asleep and I plan to have feed, medicated and cleaned up after the animals before he wakes up. Hopefully we can hace a nice day together before I have to go to sleep for work. I hope so.
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