124

Much better. I stayed on track and was rewarded with a 3lb drop! Now I just have to keep that in my head. I couldn't sleep so now I am awake too early and I am hungry. This sucks. My plan was to sleep until 10 and not eat until I got to work, but instead I woke up at 5 and at 6 and dozed for abit but not really. So tired and hungry what a great combo.

127 i just cant

I tried to be healthy and eat like a normal person but come on! 127! That is just not aceptable to me at all. So I have a new plan. Really so much has changed since I last wrote; I have a job on night shift so I wt myself at 11pm at night and that is my "morning" wt. It was 127 last night so my new plan started immeaditly. Basically I have two fiber bars and two southbeach bars at work with atleast four of the diet pills and maybe a diuretic. Then when I get home at 9am I either have to run erands or relax until noon. At some point I need to eat my "dinner" so I bought a few frzen meals all of which are 230-300kcals. If I stick to this I know it will work. The tricky time has always beeb after work for me, but now it should be easier since I can't eat with my husband.
I know my wt last night was due in part to the sodium the day before, chinese food. I have been peeing my brains out at work which makes me feel a bit better. I know that if I stay on my plan tonight I will see the pay off. I have that wired wide awake feeling from the diet pills which feels so comforting. Its sad I guess I missed it.
I have been feeling so many feelings since not dieting and I can't handle it. Guilt,sadness, fear, its all inside of me and has been pushing up out of me. I read somewhere that scientist are working on a drug that would earse bad memories and I wonder what that would be like?
Til next time.