it didnt save

Ugh I wrote a long post about everything I wanted to let out and it didn't save. So let's try again.
So x and I have been talking about having kids and I was really really contimplating what life would be like. Would I work a full time job and come home to x and a baby with all the housework done and taken care or or would I have to come home take care of the animals, clean the house, do laundry and care for him and a child? My thoughts drifted back and forth of what would happen and the Saturday morning happened. Let me start from the begining. I work from midnight til 8:30 am. I sleep for most of the afternoona nd evening before work but x had a dr appointment friday afternoon that I had to take him to so I went to bed late. Ok so I woke up went to work then to walmart. I had to fill four rx's for x so while there I picked up dog food and some other things, stuff we needed but also things I knew x would enjoy. So by the time I pull up to my townhouse it is 10am. I take most of the bags out of the car and bring them inside. I open the door and got annoyed. X hadn't feed the dogs aor given the one his meds yet or cleaned up the puppie papers. Since the dogs were hungry they were runing around and knocking things down. I was angry and fustrated and I yelled loudly. I shouldn't have since it wasn't the dogs fault I was angry. I went outside and grabbed the dog food bag and a bag with 5 bottles of soda and a box of crakers. I brought that inside and as I close the door x comes downstairs and asks why I didn't tell him that I needed help with the bags. I said because I thought you were asleep. He told me he was awake and would have helped. That annoyed me because if he was awake why didn't he feed an take care of the dogs!? So then he says "an don't ever yell at the dog like that again, ok?" Well I replied "no not ok" and I turned around to face him. That is when he slapped me. HARD. After that it was like a fucking lifetime movie, I was crying he was aployigising and the whole thing was a mess. So I go and take one mg of xanax and ttry to relax because I had to drive x to a few towns over and wait for him and then drive him home before I can go to bed. So we do that and he is still aployigizing and begging me to not be mad at him. So I finally get to go to sleep (later then I like to go to sleep) and he ends up waking me up an hour before my alarm is set so that I can give him some of his pills jhe can't be in control of because he takes too many. I couldn't go back to sleep so I ended up sleeping for 5 hours before coming to work. Now I am tired, my stomach hurts from being upset and I want to be alone laying in my bed. But here I am at work.
In the morning after work I have to stop at my parents house and then drive x around and I won't get back to the house until atleast 4pm. So 12 more hours of this. Ugh.

really?

What the hell am I doing? I am going to be 30 this summer, this is not the life I expected. There are a lot of positives that I never expected which is great but then there is the other stuff. I am talking about the stuff that if I knew it was going on in the life of someone I knew I would be devastated and shocked. X and I have been talking about having children- I started to visualize what life would be like. I have two very different

again

He slapped me.