I need a vacation

I want a vacation from real life. I am just so worn out from all that has been going on. Life has been so crazy lately that even bloggin seemed like too much to do, all I want is some down time. To recap: August I find out I am pregnant, my husband has an "episode" of his manic bipolar side that ended up violent in nature. I realise that I can not keep a fetus safe let alone a child. Yes I made a choice to be with my husband and that means for the for seeable future no children even though I want kids. So I set up an appointment with planned parenthood. The whole process was very lonely, no one knows what I did except my therapists. I even wrote down a fake emergancy contact on my paperwork. I drove two hours to get the medicine and started the process while at work. I started to bleed and told my husband I miscarried. He then had a psychotic episode while I was sleeping and left the house. I woke up to get ready for work and he was gone. I drove around looking for him but could not find him. He had left his cell phone and wallet at home. Three hours later one of the local hospitals called me. Someone had called 911 to bring him there and he was unable to give his name or anything for a long while. In October something similar happened. He for some reason left the house and was again taken to the hospital, a different one this time. However I woke up this time and found the ambulance about to pull away, which means it must have been a neighbor who called for the ambulance. This time when he was taken to the hospital he was a "302". A 302 is when someone files paperwork stating you need to be seen by a mental health dr before you can leave and if deemed nessesary they can hold you in the hospital. Since I work in a psych hospital I know allb the rules and what had to be done. My husband was lucky, this was all hapening during a hurricane and most doctors would have kept him, his dr hapened to be the on call dr and agreed that I could take him home as long as I stayed with him instead of going to work. He has not been good at all. His mood, behaviors, sleep, everything has been off. I have been binge eating like crazy and not sleeping as well as I need to. I work night shift so that during the day if something is wrong I am home and he would be sleeping at night. But I am too worried to sleep deeply and he is awake most of the night while I am at work which makes me nervous. Today I let him know I was so worn out I was actually feeling like I was going to puke. I did sleep for almost 9 hours and it was wonderful. I don't know what I can do but I have to do something. Things are not getting better and we can't continue like this.