So much to write

I am pretty sure I am going to write this post in two parts because so much has been going on.  I have been binge eating non stop and I am up in wt to the point that it disgusting.  I haven't been able to string together more than a day and a half of not using food to numb myself.  I checked the calender and I have 5 weeks til Christmas/New Year.  I need to set myself a goal and achieve it.  I am setting my goal to be 115 for Christmas or New Year, and to decrease my binge eating.  The goals go hand in hand with eachother and I have to work on these things to start to feel better about everything. So no more giant portions of food, no shovling food in my mouth like its my last meal, No More eating to get numb.  Food is not a drug to make feelings disappear.  I have been trying that for the past few months and it hasn't worked.  Time for something different. I also need to get my shit together and get things done on my to do list. It is getting to be very long and I need to start crossing things off of it. Ugh. 125.5. Well time to get ready for work and start this week off right.