114.5!

Yes! Yesterday was really tough and I almost caved in sereral times but I stayed strong and got my sweet reward. I can do this, I just need to stay strong. I am on track for the day and I have the rest of the day planned. I welled up with tears a few hours ago here at work. I am watching a patient tonight and it is like looking into the future of how my husband might be one day. I think he seems like a nice man who is seeing and hearing and feeling things that no one else is, the nurse I am with tonight is scarred of him. I think that is what makes me sad that someone is scarred of someone instead of being scarred FOR them. If this man was at the mall acting this way there is a hugh chance he would end up in jail luckily someone forced him to go to the hospital and he signed himself in for treatment. Its normally the male patients that get me thinking like this, but they are some of my favorite patients. On a good note I figured out a system that worked (yesterday atleast) to get chores done at home. My husband can't always follow through with things so I gave him one specific task and it got done. I was very happy. So now my plan is to ask him to do on specific thing a day, like clean the kitchen floor instead of saying clean up the kitchen. I think that gives us both a better chance. Well its morning so I better stop writing before it gets too busy. I wanted to thank you guys for all of your encouragement especially with the past month. Being able to come here and express everything was so much better than just bottling it up insided, and to know people were actually reading my thoughts made me feel less alone. Thank you.