Ten days into the new year and I already feel worn out. I have tried to keep up with my resolutions and I am doing so in a half assed sort of way. Money wise I have been staying on track with only giving into my husband wanting something from the mini mart two times. I have kepted both Wednesdays free of my to do list, and trying to just relax at those times. And foodwise I started eating nice and healthy for about a week and then had a few mini binges. So as of yesterday I am back to eating right. I just wish I could shake this depression, it feels like I am trapped under a blanket and I can't get out. I had therapy today really its just a check in with the person who prescribes my meds and I have to fill out a survey eachtime. And eachtime my answers are either showing I am feeling more and more depressed. But I think I send her mixed signals because I like her as a person and I seem brighter when I talk to her. I have had a tough time with my husband too and I know that is a big part of the depression. We got in a big fight and I actually left the house for awhile. I only came back when he sent me a text asking where I went. He didn't remember the fight and telling me to leave. I was so pissed. I know he is sick, I know he can't remember somethings, but I do. Somedays I'm just so angry. He did see my black and blue on my arm from grabbing me and he felt horrible but it does not make a difference. I don't forgive him. I told him I want to talk to his dr because he is doing so poorly. He didn't like that idea but I am sticking with it. I will not let this shit continue, if he doesn't try to make shit better I am done. I have to. So anyway I am trying to build up the courage to give him the contract I wrote up, I want to give it to him tomorrow. I hope I do.