November

I have been trying to get myself back to a healthy mindset and its just been so hard. I spent almost two whole days last week sleeping. I took time off work one day and was canceled the next day, I slept. that's really it. Trying to have the energy and want to shower is a struggle right now. At work I am ok, all though the other day I was not as kind and compassionate as someone in my job should be, that's when I knew I needed to take time off. Seriously, part of my job is being nice if I can't do that I shouldn't be there. I skipped therapy one day, didn't return a bunch of important phone calls and just basically doing the bare minimum in life. BUT... I have forced myself to be more social. I am a foster mom for an animal rescue and I have my third dog right now. She is sweet and pushes me. Because of the rescue group I go to open adoption events, charity events and so far on meeting at one persons house. I am now friendly with a few people and I am trying to actually make friends which feel nice and really lame. Right now I don't have real friends and I want that to be different. So I am trying small steps, being friends on facebook,.making positive comments and trying to actually have conversations. Both at work and with the rescue group. The fact that I have a five month old dog also makes me participate in life. I can't leave work and crawl back in bed until my next shift. I have to teach this puppy how to be an awesome family dog. It also reminds me that small things add up. Autumn would have been put to sleep (killed) if the rescue groups had not coordinated to get a group of dogs from several states away to my town. These dogs have all been the nicest and sweetest dogs, but because they were at the shelter a few months they were set to die. Instead one little puppy is in my living room right now. Somedays it is a bit overwhelming. But that is good. I need to push myself to really live. So my goal for this month is to concentrate on being a whole person. I saw a shooting star on my way to work and I wished for "enough". Enough love, passion, strenght, money, motivation, happiness- just enough. I hope all of you have enough.