Trying to figure shit out.

I am fed up with myself at this point.   I don't want to do anything.   I was getting so bad that I am back to taking caffeine pills and another medication just to function.   It's completely working;  I have energy,  I don't need to sleep 10 hours,  waking up is easy and I can function how a normal person would.   Problem is that I know I shouldn't be taking this combination.   It's completely legal, but I should wait and see if my new prescription would work.   But I couldn't stand it any longer.   I normally build up a tolerance after a month or so and stop so when I stop hopefully it will be right as my new medication kicks in. 
Seriously, I can justify anything if I try.  
But really I just couldn't stay how I was.