So my husband wanted to know why I am not sure now is a good time to have children and I finally told him the truth. I said to him do you remember what happened in March? He did not and didn't want to explain further. If I had continued I would have had to explain that about every three or four months THAT happens. Or that every so often he blacks out and loses a few hours of a day. How can we bring children into this situation?
So now he is upset with me. To be honest I am upset with him, why do I have to be the "rational" one all the time. Thinking about what a situation would really be like, not how we hope it would be. Sure there is a chance that some how we would still be able to pay all of our bills and buy a small house, have a baby or two and have me work while he raised the kids. Is that realistic at all? NO! Why can't he see the truth? I will be over worked while pregnant, freaking out about bills and gaining wt. I would be leaving him with an infant while I have to go back to work missing all the firsts of the childs life. What happens if he blacks out? He isn't even taking care of what we have now, the house is a mess, he doesn't cook meals even weekly anymore, and I help with the animals as much as I can. I also work 6 days a week now for the money.
But today is a new day, he is still asleep and I plan to have feed, medicated and cleaned up after the animals before he wakes up. Hopefully we can hace a nice day together before I have to go to sleep for work. I hope so.
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