Well here I am back at work, getting back to my normal schedule of working. I am glad I had taken the four days off after working 12 in a row. I wish it had been more enjoyable but when you deny reality it tends to sucker punch you and stab you in the neck.
I can't deny reality any longer, I have to be realistic and know what the limitations of my life will be. Do I want children? Yes. Can I bring a child into the life I live? No. Part of my husbands illness makes him unable to understand this.
He thinks I miscarried. I told my therapist today. I have told no one except medical professionals. I didn't even want to go to my appointment but I know I need to talk about it. I have been on "automatic" since July 31st. I am able to get through things that way but I know its not healthy to stay like this too long. Pretending everything is ok does not actually make everything ok.
I have binged so much that tonight I am wearing my fat jeans. I ganed 10lbs in 2 weeks. This stops now also. |
I'm so sorry hon.. *hugs*
ReplyDeleteIt's good you are going to talk to your therapist about it. You can't ignore this. Have you decided what you are going to do about the pregancy? I know I shouldn't even ask that....I can't imagine the position you are in. Like you said in your comment, it would be so nice if we could live closer and just cry together. :( Love you to pieces and I hope your doing ok.
ReplyDelete<3