Its always something...

I feel like I never have time to write and really get everything out of my head. Life was going fairly well during last post, I felt like I was improving and I was hopeful. Then my real life came back. My husband Ed had a manic episode and I could tell it was escalating when I left for work at 11:30 at night. I was right. He started sending me odd text messages around 5 am that I couldn't understand. By 6:30 am I had figured out he was locked out of our house, couldn't stand, and still confused. I left work early and found him outside unable to tand on his right foot. I took him to the hospital and it turns out he fractured a bone in his foot. Awesome. So he has been stuck on the couch since 7/14. He can get up the stairs 1x a day if he needs to, but otherwise he is using a urinal I took from the hospital. This means that I am now taking full care of him and the animals. I have to wake up to walk the dogs every few hours, I have had to take all 3 of them to vet appointments, and bring Ed his meds and make him food. I have rearly ever had a problem stying awake at work. That was always. Joke that my special skills include watching a person sleep and not falling asleep also. But now forget it. Being that I do overtime here at work some days I don't stay my whole shift, till 8:30am and instead I leave at 6, 7, or whenever I can. So the otherday I left at 7:30 and drove to the library to pick up the books I had on hold. It doesn't open until 9 so I parked the car under some trees and took a nap. It was so nice! Yup, sleeping in the car was very nice. Ugh. So I am exhausted and yesterday I called in sick. I had stayed up for 22 hours taking care of so many errands including taking Ed for an appointment at 3 in the after noon. By the time I was able to lay down it as 6pm. I called off work and woke up 1x to walk the dogs and then at 6am. I felt so groggy. Now I am here at work and I am fighting to stay awake. Fighting. I feel like all I do is fight. Ed swears this accident has changed him and that things will be different. He seems upset that I couldn't believe him. He has said it before, how do I know things will change? The thought of placing him in a group home crossed my mind again, not divorce but a seperation. If I can't ensure his safety and the safety of the animals it will have to come to that. Right now I could curl up just bout anywhere and fall asleep. I need to make a to do list for afterwork otherwise I won't do anything productive. Luckily I don't have much to just a few errands then lounge on the sofa and watch Kic Ass with hubby. I took two movies out this week from the library and I think I will be doing that more often. Movies for free is not a bad deal especially since so many have come out that I haven't seen. Anyone have suggestions for movies? Nothing that will make me cry is my only rule.