124.1

Well I am glad I am down a bit but I am disapointed with myself for how I ate after work yesterday. I went home after work and had a bowl of fruit loops and about a half cup of ice cream. What a wonderful meal right before bed. I realize that my xanax gives me the urge to eat even when I am not hungry so I need to train myself not to graze like a cow anymore. At one point in life I had self control and I need to get it back. Its like a muscle that needs to get more defined.
I went to my work party today and I had a nice time although I ordered a chicken ceasar salad with NO dressing but some how it still had some dressing on it - gross. I don't like most salad dressings so I always tell the waiter no dressing. I ended up eating some of the grilled chicken and a small amount of lettuce but since it wasn't what I wanted I didn't even eat half of it. Now I am at work and I didn't bring anything tob eat; well that's not true I keep a kashi bar and a fiber one bar in my purse at all times just in case. My plan for the next 12 hours (when I go to sleep) is to not eat anything while here at work, have a bowl of cheerios with almond milk before taking my husband to his appointment and if I need to have something else a bag of popcorn. That's it. No excuses or bullshit. I want this wt off me the sooner the better. I think I can get into the 122's for Saturday and stay on target for 115 for new years.
I think I have to go dress shopping for new years eve the dress I have borrowed I don't love. I mean its cute but I think if I get down enough in wt I am going to get a different dress, maybe that can be one of my rewards besides the joy of not looking like a jiggly blob.
You know how I aid I have to start to exercise? Yea that hasn't happened. I am so tired when I get home from work I just want to sit and watch tv with my husband. And as I type this it is snowing, well on my way to work it was, so I will not be going for long walks with my dog - we both don't like the snow. Maybe I can do some squats and things here at work. I have to make sure I am not on camera looking like a fool, and not wake up anybody. Its a thought but so is sitting on my ass and reading til 8:00am. Eh.
Remember ladies hunger is just a feeling and feelings pass...

124.3

Ok I stayed the same too long now! I have been much more slack since Sunday and I need to get strict again. Today is going to be a long odd day so I need a plan:
Eat veggies at work before I leave
Take my med that makes me sleepy on the way home so I go right to sleep
Wake up and shower 6 hours later
Go to work function and eat only a salad
Come home and rest
Go to work
Wow sounds like fun. The only reason I will be awake enough to do all of that crap on such little sleep is that bronkaid and no doz combo. I really don't want to spend any money on food out but I have to go and be social. I will have to take some no doz before I go and hopefully I will be awake enough. I so would rather sleep. Oh well.
Goal for Saturday is 122. I think I can do it and then keep going for new years. I just have to keep wt loss in mind. Even when my husband brings home icecream and other yummy trats I have to stay strong it is worth it.
I also have to get my life together. Its ben on hold for awhile and it needs a kick start. I would love a job like I used to have but its hard with this economy. I just have to start my life myself

124.3

This is so awesome. I can't believe I am losing wt like this, I haven't been able to do this in so so long. I woke up this morning,actual morning since I was off work last night, and I really didn't expect a hugh drop since I had eaten at my mothers house but what a happybsurprise it was. Yesterday I stayed up for 21 hours yet I felt fine for most of it. Yes I was a bit jittery but I was able to avoid food until I was home from work. Once at home I had two handful of cereal which was so yummy! At moms I had 1/2 cup of pasta with sauce and two(!) Slices of garlic bread and 1/2 of a brownie. When I got home I had one bowl of dry cereal, one bowl of cereal with almond milk, and two handfuls of whoppers.
So yup pretty shocked I lost. So today I don't really have much planned except to go to sleep at 3pm or so. That's it. I will most likely have to eat at some point with my husband to make sure he doesn't notice all the rescriting I am doing. When I work it has been so easy, I just avoid EVERYTHING until 5 am and then have one handful/one mouthful or whatever is around and then have something small at home so my husband sees me eat. This bronkaid is fucking awesome! I can't believe how much it works! It has made this so much easier. I can't believe I had been wasting so much money on crappy diet pills when this had been available. How did I not know about this? this is a greatful Thank You to the wonderful women who writes mylifeonthereelz. I think I messed up the name of the blog but I have no idea how to create a link to her blog. But thank you. I feel so good and I know you are not having an easy time right now but you will start to feel better, you have to because of karma, you helped me and you will feel the payback.
I am hopeful that I might even get down to 121 for my little event on this coming Saturday and wow I can only hope to be around 115 or less for new years eves big event.

125.1

Wow I can't believe my wt was that low when I got on the scale. I was hoping for 125.4 but yay. I didn't really eat yesterday. Instead I didn't eat at work, I came home and didn't eat a real meal I had a handful of pretzels and 75% of a bag fat free popcorn. So far today I haven't eaten just drank some crystal light. I am not sure how today will go but I have to go to visit my family and before that I want to put up our christmas tree. I want to get the tree up so that we can decorate it when we get the ornimants from my parents. This will be our first tree together so I am very excited which is really lame but I dont care. I know that I will have to eat at my parens so I don't know what I should do before then. I want to have my soup but I am wondering if I can forgo food until I get to my parents house, its just a power trip to see if I can do it. Humm, not sure.
I never took my walk yesterday but I did dye my hair so it is blue black again. I love it.
Well I better sign off since I am at work and I can't stop and start writing on this blog.

opps

I couldn't get back to the blog so I had to publish it. But I wanted to write how much better I am feeling. I guess antidepressants and stimulants work very well together.

125.8

I am so happy to see ths scale go down finally! Yesterday went so well food wise, I was ble to stay under 400cals for the day without my husband even noticing. I had a toasted cheese sandwhich (two slices of bread, two slices of fat free cheese) while he ate a hugh hoagie. I need to figure out how much lower I can be in one week,maybe shhot for 123? I want more loss but I guess I should be realistic.
Todays goals are:
No mindless munching (no handfuls of whatever is around)
Take the dog for a one mile walk
Keep calories under 500

And maybe
Dye my hair
Put away all my clothes

Well that's the plan I just have to stay motivated to get shit done. I have to say the bronkaid is awesome. I even feel like it is helping with my depression and giving me more energy. I leave work at 8:30am and I feel like I can actually do things after work. I want to go for a walk and clean up my room. I have even gone out and stayed awake with energy til 2 or 3pm. I haven't felt this good in a long while.

126.3

Yay! Finally a decent loss. Yesterday was easy, wish everyday would be. I took 1 bronkaid and 1 caffiene pill at 10:30pm and another dosage at 4am. The only thing I ate at work were a few almonds and a handful of caramel popcorn (label says 110cals). When I went home I had two servings of fake cheerios with unsweetened almond milk (less than 300cals). I can't say they make me not hungry; instead I feel hungry for a bit and take a large amount of water and then feel fine for awhile again. Even right now I am slightly hungry but I am going to drink another 16oz of water and then wait til around 4 or 5am to take another dose. I brought my soup which has 120 cals which means when I get home I can have a bowl of cereal for my final meal of the day.
I am so hopeful that I will be in the 125's for Saturday and by next Saturday I am hoping for 123, I just don't want to be disappointed in myself.