124.1

Well I am glad I am down a bit but I am disapointed with myself for how I ate after work yesterday. I went home after work and had a bowl of fruit loops and about a half cup of ice cream. What a wonderful meal right before bed. I realize that my xanax gives me the urge to eat even when I am not hungry so I need to train myself not to graze like a cow anymore. At one point in life I had self control and I need to get it back. Its like a muscle that needs to get more defined.
I went to my work party today and I had a nice time although I ordered a chicken ceasar salad with NO dressing but some how it still had some dressing on it - gross. I don't like most salad dressings so I always tell the waiter no dressing. I ended up eating some of the grilled chicken and a small amount of lettuce but since it wasn't what I wanted I didn't even eat half of it. Now I am at work and I didn't bring anything tob eat; well that's not true I keep a kashi bar and a fiber one bar in my purse at all times just in case. My plan for the next 12 hours (when I go to sleep) is to not eat anything while here at work, have a bowl of cheerios with almond milk before taking my husband to his appointment and if I need to have something else a bag of popcorn. That's it. No excuses or bullshit. I want this wt off me the sooner the better. I think I can get into the 122's for Saturday and stay on target for 115 for new years.
I think I have to go dress shopping for new years eve the dress I have borrowed I don't love. I mean its cute but I think if I get down enough in wt I am going to get a different dress, maybe that can be one of my rewards besides the joy of not looking like a jiggly blob.
You know how I aid I have to start to exercise? Yea that hasn't happened. I am so tired when I get home from work I just want to sit and watch tv with my husband. And as I type this it is snowing, well on my way to work it was, so I will not be going for long walks with my dog - we both don't like the snow. Maybe I can do some squats and things here at work. I have to make sure I am not on camera looking like a fool, and not wake up anybody. Its a thought but so is sitting on my ass and reading til 8:00am. Eh.
Remember ladies hunger is just a feeling and feelings pass...