i hate my scale

This scale situation is driving me crazy, I have nothing to go by in terms of progress. I just wt myself here at work with the old school dr office scale and it was 129. I have had 48oz of water so far but no food. At home my scale is all over the place from 125 to 130.4? How can I utilize that kind of information? Unfortunatly I noticed how big my legs have become. I used to be able to circle my legs with my hands almost all the way up, now not so m. Now uch. I mean I can do it right above my knees but that is it. I can't believe I let it get this bad again. I guess my only solance is that I have done it before and I WILL do it again. I need to get down to atleast 110lbs. And that is going to be on my scale, my old one my mom has or the one here at work. I don't care as of right now which one. I went after work to walmart to buy diet pills because the ones I purcased last week did nothing for me. I got a blue bottle of zantracs? I can't spell for shit but it is the same brand of he red ones from last week and I know these work since I have used them before. I wish I could take something strong like really strong to lose 20lbs before new years. I guess I will just have to do the standard eat as little as possible and hope and pray for ab noticeable loss. I can't belive my awesome new scale is broken! My other worry is that maybe its not broken and it is just that my apartment is off balence so when I step on it depending where it is I get a different number. When I get home I am going to have to mark where it should be each time I use it. I don't know how I will do that as to not have my husband see what I am doing. Its sometimes but not to say everything that runs through your mind. I have yet to eat and I am half way through my shift here at work. I have my homemade soup that has 234 cals and 13gram of fiber(I need to get my digestive track working again) and a coworker brought in donuts from my favorite place. She had anothr coworker but one to the side for me. 210cals is not a hugh amount but I have no control I usally eat 6 of those or start with one and go on to continue to binge. I hate this. I need to control myself and not be gross. Well that's all for now. 4:17 am no calories yet.