115.4

Well if things are going to suck at least I am dropping wt so that's nice. I normally flip between over eating or under eating when I am stressed like this. Right now it is under. Thinking back to yesterday is kind of blurry. We had a good morning and then I went to sleep. Only thing is I forgot to get my rx for elevil which I take before bed so I took a benedryl. Glad I did because x woke me all messed up. The details don't matter I'll just say he was completly not himself. He ended up doing things that I would rather not right about again, but this is the only place I can keep track of it for his treatment team. I'll just say it was 2 c's and 1 h. Oh and he went and bought beer. 2 40oz beers. He is on enough meds to put a horse down and he drinks 80oz of beer? PISSED. I want to go in his visit tomorrow with his therapist but he said he wants to go in alone. I am thinking I should go in at the begining of the visit or maybe I could give her a note with the things I want her to know and the questions I have for her. I think I will write down the things I want to review but still try to actually go in with him. I need to know what to do when it gets this bad. Yes me drugging him worked but I can't really do that. I need help. How many times can I break til I shatter?~ O.A.R I need something I just don't know what. Thank you ladies for all your support you don't know how much I appreciate everything.