I hate 5/15

I woke up fine, before my alarm even went off. I was going to just lay in bed and watch the news and check my emails. Instead my husband came in the room and I could tell something was off. So another night wasted. I am starting to get more and more pissed and I want it to stop. I don't think I am asking too much. I think if this was all going on at a different time or at different times it wouldn't bother me as much. Four years ago today I walked in on his suicide attempt. Complaining that he doesn't clean up the apartment as much as I would like seems petty. My wt was the same because I pigged out on cereal. I have to make a rule that I can't eat "his" cereal. "His" being any of the cereal that I can't stop eating like life,captin crunch, and anything else that I lose control with. I can stick with my shreaded wheat and that's it. I am striving for 108 as my before summer goal. Looking at the calender I am setting the finish line at 6/15. It is 4 weeks for 8lbs, I must do it. I am going to have to find my blue shorts. I bought them the one summer that I felt that I was thin. I should be able to button them and not have a muffin top, that's one of the goals. I hate shorts and never wear any outside of the house but fitting into them will be concrete proof that I am back at an exceptable wt. Well I better get some actual work done before it gets too crazy here (ha crazy at the mental hospital!).