122.8

I am in complete shock ate my wt after my 3 donut binge yesterday but I guess I was able to balance it all out in the end. I ended up having 3 bowl movemnts (tmi) due to my aniexty being sky high. How poetic that my body pushes food out of its self when I can't hold myself together. Let's recap the day:
Work: ate 3 donuts and a bowl of soup.
I went to see my new therapist and I think she might actually be good for me, she is going o push me out of my comfort zone and actually act like a therapist which will be a change for me. Also I don't think I will be able to divert the conversations to nonissues like I did with my last therapist. So it should be good for me and uncomfortable. I had to do the normal treatment plan with her so I said I want to work on my aniexty, I constatly feel like I am seconds away from disaster. I have felt this way since before May 2008 but it really took off after that. The geting to know me part was a bit comical for me though, I am hyper aware of all my disorded thinking and I can and do list them all and what I should do to fix them. I must be so annoying. Anyway, after that I went home and had a bag of popcorn and shreaded wheat (yay carbs). Then we went to court. I know I said the worst that could happen is the judge says no, and my irrational fear that they would take him to jail, but I really did not expect him to say no. So today after work I will call his probation officer and find out if the rules have stayed the same or if they have been relaxed a bit.

So far tonight at work I have some pretzels and 1 cracker, about 110cals, not bad. I brought my soup and dry cereal but I haven't touched them yet. I have been prety busy throughout the night and I am now enjoying my down time. My life could be a bad lifetime movie. Depressed white girl with an ED who went and got a degree in nutrition, marries man with bipolar disorder and takes job as a mental health worker after the diet center I worked or goes out of bussines. I wonder who could play me?